30 Days
by N7Commando86
Summary: A series of short drabbles from a writing challenge on my tumblr. The goal is to write one drabble once a day for thirty days to see what comes out. Mass Effect to Mass Effect 3. Shenko.
1. Beginning

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

_A/N: This will be a series of short drabbles prompted by a 30 day writing challenge that I'm participating in over on my tumblr. All of the prompts have been prechosen, and the goal is to write one prompt a day for thirty days. The plan is to span from Mass Effect to Mass Effect 3, and there will be lots and lots of shenko goodness. I started this on the first of the month, so I have to get caught up posting it over here. Enjoy!_

* * *

He supposed the beginning of the end for him had been the first time he'd met her. Fresh off a classified N7 mission, the dirt of the field scuffing her armor, her forehead still beaded with sweat, her hair tumbling out of the bun he had a feeling she habitually wore, and her bag was slung over her shoulder. He was staring and he knew it. He felt a sharp elbow in his ribs, and heard the pilot next to him mutter, "Down, boy."

With that subtle reminder, he snapped his iron control into place, determined not to make a fool of himself. This was a dream posting for him, one he'd been hoping and waiting for; a new, prototype ship, serving with a crew hand picked by one of the most notable officers in the Alliance, and then there was Shepard. A legend in the flesh was standing in front of him; talking and laughing with Captain Anderson, and, if he wasn't imagining things, shooting him a stunning smile when Anderson turned to introduce her to the ship's officers.

He waited patiently as Shepard came down the line, returning salutes and shaking hands with his peers. He snapped a sharp salute to her when his turn came, and his eyebrows shot up when he accepted her proffered hand, and he felt the sharp hum of her biotics. They stared at each other for a long minute, both oblivious to Anderson standing over her shoulder with his eyebrows raised. "Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, ma'am." He said softly, and he saw her lick her lips as his gravelly voice met her ears.

"A pleasure to meet you, Lieutenant," she practically purred, and reluctantly he released her hand. "You're biotic," it wasn't a question, and she cocked her head to the side when he nodded. "I look forward to seeing you in action," she murmured to herself, as though she had already sized him up and fought his abilities in the field to be acceptable.

"Ah, thank you, ma'am. You're biotic as well," he noted, and he watched her her blink in surprise.

"You could say I dabble," she mused, pursing her lips in thought. "I'm better with a shotgun. Mostly, I don't have the patience to learn anything new."

Kaidan gave a shy smile, "I know a thing or to, if you'd care to learn a few new tricks."

She gave him another radiant smile, "I think I'd like that, Lieutenant." She turned when Anderson cleared his throat.

"Alenko, maybe you'd like to show Shepard around, where she can stash her gear, and so on?" Anderson said, and didn't wait for a reply before he moved on to talk to Navigator Pressley.

Kaidan cocked his head to the side, and held out a hand, "Can I take your bag?" he asked, and she just chuckled and handed it over, letting her hand linger over his for a moment. He mental steeled himself, this was his executive officer, and fraternization was not on his list of acceptable career moves. He slung the bag of his shoulder, and moved forward, heard her soft footfalls as she followed after him.

They went in companionable silence, and he showed her to the crew deck, and the empty footlocker that had been assigned to her. "Thank you, Lieutenant." She stuffed her bag in the locker, and straightened to look at him. "I think I should apologize, I know I come on a little strong back there."

He shuffled uncomfortably, "It's not a problem, ma'am."

"I don't get to serve with many other biotics, so to be assigned to a ship with one, it's a rare treat for me." She tilted her head to indicate she was finished speaking.

He smiled, "I know what you mean, I rarely serve with other biotics, and most of the time, I'm viewed with some suspicion, like I can read minds or something." She let out a bark of laughter and nodded her agreement. "But Anderson seems to have his reasons to have us both on his ship, so here I am. I was serious about teaching you some things, if you're interested."

Her lips parted for a moment as she considered him, and gave him a slight nod, "Yes, I'd like that. They were always drilling the need to be well rounded into us during N7 training, so I think I owe it to myself to learn something new." They chatted for a few more minutes while she took of her dirty armor, and she wrinkled her nose as she got a whiff of herself. "That is just offensive," she muttered to herself, dropping her armor into pile on the floor. "Apologies, Lieutenant, but I need a shower. Could you…?"

He blushed when he realized he'd been staring at her as she'd stripped out of her armor. "Uh, yeah, it's over here," he pointed her in the right direction, trying not to stare at her slender curves. "I'll take your suit down to the armory to be cleaned, if that's okay."

She smiled, "Sure thing, Lieutenant." She put a cool hand over his as he straightened, her armor in hand, "Thank you, Alenko," she smiled before turning away from him. He was in serious trouble, and he knew it, he thought trying to tear his eyes away from the sway of her hips as she walked away. Seriously in trouble.


	2. Accusation

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

Kaidan sat at the bar in Flux across the table from Shepard, watching as Ashley danced with a private from another ship. They were waiting for the Council to make a decision on the information Shepard had presented them that afternoon, and Kaidan had suggested they have a few drinks while they waited. Knowing the Council would drag their heels until the meeting they had scheduled for the following morning, Shepard had agreed it was a good idea.

"So Lieutenant, you seem to have a pretty good grasp on this situation. What do you think our chances of the Council deciding in our favor are?" she asked him, taking a swig of the fruity green drink Williams had talked her into.

Kaidan just shrugged his shoulders, "Pretty good, I'd guess. They can't ignore this, or they'd have a PR nightmare on their hands from the human embassy." He shifted in his seat, enjoying the pleasant buzz he was experiencing. The whiskey he'd ordered had warmed his belly, and he felt more relaxed in Shepard's presence than he had since she'd boarded the Normandy a few days ago.

Shepard's hand brushed his on the tabletop, and he sucked in a breath, even with the whiskey swimming in his system, he was still hyper aware of his commanding officer, and the affect she had on him. "Alenko…" she started, running her tongue over her teeth as she considered; "Never mind."

Kaidan blinked at her, "What?"

She said nothing, but glanced around the bar, seeing no one looking their way, sitting in the darkest corner as they were. Satisfied, she leaned into him, and pressed her lips softly to his. His hand came up to cup the back of her head, and his other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her to sprawl across his lap. She gave a soft groan of frustration, and felt his arousal through the fabric of his pants. "We really shouldn't be doing this," she breathed against his lips.

"I know," he whispered back, and captured her lips again in a searing kiss. With a soft sigh, he pulled away, and just held her warm gaze as a slight smirk played across her lips.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "You don't care, do you?" she asked, her tone accusatory.

His eyebrows twitched, "At the moment, no."

She smirked at him, and leaned into him so her lips were a hair's breadth away from his, "You want me."

"Yes," he replied, and groaned when she pressed her lips to his in a brief kiss. "You have no idea how much."

"Oh, I think I can guess," she grinned, and squirmed in his lap. "I never would have imagined you as the type to just jump in bed with someone," she said softly, and brushed a hand over his cheek.

"I'm not," he replied, his hands pulling her hips closer, and he tilted his head to feather a line of kisses from the corner of her mouth, stopping just before her ear. "There are a lot of things about me you don't know. I might surprise you," his breath was hot on her ear, and she felt his fingers trailing up her inner thigh, gently teasing her hot center through the fabric of her pants.

She bit her bottom lip and reluctantly slid out of his lap. "We shouldn't be doing this, Alenko," she mumbled to herself, and slid out of the booth.

He sighed, and followed her lead, "I know it. But damn if I don't want to break all the rules for a few minutes with you."

She cocked her head to the side, "Just a few minutes, huh?" She signaled to Ashley, who indicated she wasn't ready to leave, and for them to head on out. "You're not some kind of playboy, are you?" she asked warily.

He snorted, and glanced around to make sure they were still unobserved. He leaned into her and murmured into her ear, "Of course not. I'll take as much time with you as you'll let me have."

She grinned at him, "One of these days, Lieutenant."


	3. Restless

Kaidan glanced up from the mug of coffee sitting before him in the mess, and watched as Shepard fixed herself a mug and slid into the chair next to him. "Hey, Shepard," he said, wincing at the sound of his own voice.

"Migraine?" she asked, and didn't wait for a reply before she slipped her cool hands over his temples in a gentle massage. He moaned softly, and leaned into her, thankful that it was the middle of the night and his migraine meds had left him restless so there was no one else about. They sat in companionable silence for several minutes, before she slicked a hand through his dark curls and massaged the back of his neck near his implant.

Lust shot straight to his loins, and he swallowed hard, and wistfully pulled away from her. Making out in a dark bar on shore leave was one thing, fooling around in the ship during a tour of duty was entirely another. "Shepard," he warned gently, and took her hand in his, placing in on the tabletop, but, not quite ready to let go, he held on.

She sighed, "I know, I just…" she trailed off, and made a simple gesture with her other hand.

"Can't get you out of my head, I know," he finished.

He watched as she pushed away from the table, pacing, "This is so unfair," she muttered to herself, "I get assigned to the most advance frigate in the Alliance fleet, with the best team, working with one of the strongest biotics I've ever had the pleasure to meet; and all I can think about is getting in his pants," she fumed.

He chuckled, and rose to move over to her. He stilled her pacing when his hand came up to cup her cheek, and he brushed a thumb over her bottom lip. "The only thing, huh?" he murmured, staring into her bold, blue eyes.

"Well, maybe not the only thing," she breathed, and she rose up on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Their lips met, softer this time, as she melted into his firm chest, felt his arms wrapping around her waist to hold her. She moan softly as his teeth worried her bottom lip, and his tongue laved the insult to her flesh.

He broke the kiss, and pressed his forehead to hers, "What are we doing here, Shepard?" he murmured, his eyes still closed.

She sighed, "I don't know. But I can't seem to help myself."

He nodded his agreement, and fused his lips to hers again, more demanding this time as he plundered her sweet mouth. He backed her up to the edge of the table, and his hands found the clasp of her pants, and his whiskey brown eyes bore into hers, "Tell me no," he murmured, his clever fingers working the fly of her pants, pushing them down her hips. She stayed silent as he boosted her up on the table, and his fingers trailed up the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh. "You really should tell me no," he said again as her thighs parted, granting him access to her wet center, already hot and ready for him.

He groaned into her shoulder as his fingers parted her soft folds, stroking her, spreading her wetness as he went. His thumb found her sensitive nub, and rubbed small circles against it, making her thighs jump in response, and a strangled moan to burst from her lips. She nearly bucked off the table as he slid one long finger into her tight entrance, joined shortly after by a second. He swallowed her soft moan of approval, and growled softly at the sound of his name on her lips. The first time she'd used his given name.

She clutched at his shoulders as her orgasm rolled through her, arching her back against the onslaught of pleasure that threatened to swamp her. Kaidan pressed a kiss to her lips, and pulled away from her, biting his bottom lip as she smiled at him, dazed, her pupils dilated and fixed on his lips. "Shepard," he whispered, "We can't."

She sighed, and knew the moment was passed. "I know." She slid off the table and pulled her pants up. "But next time you're having a restless night, you let me know," she said, and gave him a gentle kiss before she headed back to her cabin with one last, backwards glance. Kaidan sighed, and headed towards the showers; he'd better make this one a cold one.


	4. Snowflake

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

"Shepard, I really think we should have brought Ash or Garrus with us," Kaidan mumbled, and felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as she flew over yet another deep valley, and hit the thrusters to soften their landing.

"Why?" she purred, and shot him a sidelong glance. "This is just a mining expedition, anything we come across, we're more than capable of handling. She pulled the tank to a stop, and jumped out into the swirling snow.

Kaidan rolled his eyes, but climbed out after her, shivering in the brisk wind. "Reminds me of home," he mumbled, his eyes alert as he scanned the area.

"Vancouver?" she asked, casting an appraising glance his way. "Do you get a lot of snow there?" She cupped her hands together to catch a few frozen flakes, a soft smile on her lips.

He shrugged, and only just resisted the urge to brush the snowflakes from her hair. "Our fair share," he replied, sidling up to her as she scanned the lump of minerals sticking out if the ground.

She stretched her back after she finished and to his surprise, she flopped down in the snow with a delighted laugh. "I love snow," she told him, patting the ground next to her as he just gaped at her.

"Typical spacer kid," he grinned, and scooped up a ball of snow, packing it into a ball. She watched him curiously, and sputtered with indignation when he lobbed the snowball directly into her face.

"War, Alenko!" she cried, and soon the air was filled with the sound of her shrieks of laughter, and his deeper guffaws as they chased each other, tossing snowballs back and forth.

He tumbled her into a snowy drift, his breath catching in his throat at the unbridled joy and amusement written there, her cheeks flushed from exertion and cold. "Shepard," he murmured, and without another thought, lowered his lips to hers. He felt her fingers grasping at the edges of his armor plating, desperately pulling him closer.

"Kaidan," she groaned against his lips, feeling his hand sneak up to cup her breast through her armor. "We should, ah, head back to the truck." She nuzzled her face into his neck, and laughed as he hauled her up in his arms, and gently deposited her into the passengers seat.

"You've got snow in your hair," she murmured, lifting a head to brush it away. He caught her hand as it grazed over his cheek, and leaned his face into her gloved palm. "I want you," she sighed, her blue eyes boring into his, her pupils dilated with desire.

"Ah, Shepard, why do you say things like that?" he groaned, and crushed his lips to hers. He felt her fingers fumbling in the cold, groping for the release of his armor, even as he was scrambling for the lever that would lay her seat back flat. He climbed into the truck after her, pulling the door shut behind him to block out the cold. He watched avidly as she pulled off her gloves with her teeth, and swallowed hard when he felt her warm hand wrap around his swollen erection.

"Tell me you don't want me to," she whispered, and he surged forward, burying his hand in her dark curls, sending hair pins scattering as it tumbled down her back. He panted as her thumb brushed over the silky head of his arousal, and her grip shifted slightly, and she pumped her hand up and down his length.

He pressed his forehead into the hard cushion beside her head; he'd been in a bad way for several days, since their interlude in the mess, and all the cold showers in the world couldn't help him. To feel her hand on him, stroking him, urging him on, it was almost more than he could take.

"Shepard," he moaned with a sharp jerk of his hips, his words a warning. She shifted in the seat, pushing him across to sit in the driver's seat, her hand never leaving him, and she licked her lips before she lowered her head, taking him into her hot mouth. Her hand still wrapped around his shaft, her tongue swirled around the smooth tip, making him moan deep in his throat. He gripped the steering column, felt his orgasm rapidly building within him, and suddenly the suction her lips created was too much, and he fisted a hand in her hair as his hips jerked involuntarily, and his climax exploded through him.

She swirled her tongue over him one last time to make sure she'd missed nothing, and a sensual smile curved her lips as her eyes met his. "Now we're even, Lieutenant," she murmured.

He gave her a lopsided smile and winked at her, "I'm not so sure, Commander," he pulled her up to sprawl across his chest, "But whatever this is, we need to…"

"Be very careful," she agreed, and pressed her lips to his. She pulled away from him reluctantly, and attempted to locate her missing hairpins while he put his armor back on.

"Here, let me," he murmured, and took the pins from her hand, and with deft movements, scraped her hair back, and twisted it into the bun she preferred, securing it with the pins.

"You are a singular man, Alenko," she smiled.

"There was a girl when I was in boot camp…" he blushed, and heard her delighted laughter.

"What happened to her?"

He shrugged, "We were stationed on separate posts and fell out of touch. It wasn't serious, but I learned a thing or two."

"Well, maybe I can teach you a thing or two more," she purred against his throat, and felt the familiar stiffening in his loins in spite of himself.

"I look forward to it," he replied, and growled low in his throat when he heard Joker's voice crackle over the comm. They were being called back to the ship.

When they were on board, Shepard quickly stowed her gear in order to take the priority transmission from Admiral Hackett. Kaidan moved more slowly, carefully storing his gear in his locker, a thoughtful expression on his face.

The krogan, Wrex, ambled over, and leered at the human male. "You stink, Alenko," he rumbled, keeping his voice low so the others in the armory couldn't hear them. "What were you and the Commander doing planetside? Because you smell like sex."

Kaidan grit his teeth, he'd forgotten how keen krogan noses were, "That how you know you're doing it right, Wrex."

Wrex gave a booming laugh, and slapped Kaidan on the shoulder, making his knees buckle beneath him and he went down on one knee from the force of the blow. "I like this human!" Wrex declared, and strolled away, still chuckling to himself.

Ashley gave Kaidan a concerned look, and rushed to his side to help him up, "What was that about, LT?" she asked, confusion evident on her features.

"Nothing, Chief. Go back to your station," Kaidan replied, and grimaced when he tried to rotate his shoulder and felt it pop back into place with a low hiss of pain. A trip to see the ship's doctor was in his very near future.


	5. Haze

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

Kaidan was avoiding her, Shepard thought to herself; since they'd gone done to Klensal weeks ago, he'd barely spoken a word to her. She frowned as her omni-tool pinged, and she saw the automatic message from Chakwas informing her that one of her ground team was unavailable.

She headed towards the med bay, wanting to find out who and why, and sighed as she passed the console Kaidan was typically stationed at, and found him sitting on the floor, an arm slung over his eyes as he dozed. There was her answer, she thought to herself, and knelt on the floor beside him. Remembering it was best if she didn't speak, she smoothed a cool hand over his brow, and carefully slid her arm around him to lift him to his feet.

Across the room, Ashley saw what she was doing, and silently moved to help her. She gestured towards the sleeper pods, but Shepard shook her head. They were too far away, plus it was really difficult to get an unconscious person strapped into one. She heaved a sigh, and gestured to her quarters, her bed was close, and they could just lay him down and go.

They shuffled towards her quarters, and carefully lowered him to the bed, and Shepard found an extra blanket to toss over him before the two women stealthily left the room.

When Kaidan woke several hours later, he groaned softly to himself. Whatever Chakwas had given him this time was kicking his ass. He blinked as he struggled to take in his unfamiliar surroundings through the drugged haze still clouding his brain. His sense of smell was still heightened as he caught a whiff of Shepard's unique scent, gun oil, explosions, and a hint of vanilla; and it distantly dawned on him that he was in her bed.

'_Oh, shit,'_ he thought, the haze in his head disrupting his ability to think clearly, and he threw off the blanket covering him, and swung his legs off the bed, and fell to his knees when he tried to stand. "Damn it, he swore softly, and made a mental note to _always check the syringe_ before Chakwas gave him anything.

He groaned in frustration when the door slid open, and Shepard rushed over to his side, "Kaidan, are you okay?" she murmured, sliding her arm around him to help him up.

"I'm fine. Whatever Chakwas gave me, my legs are numb," he rubbed his temples sheepishly, "Um, how did I end up in your bed?"

"I think the better question is, why were you still on duty with a migraine?" she asked, and bit back the desire to give him the dressing down he deserved. She shook her head, she couldn't hold back because of whatever was there between them; she had her own duties to fulfill. "Lieutenant, I can't use you when you are incapacitated because of your medication. Chakwas sent me a notice that you were out of commission for a few hours, and to be frank, finding you passed out at your post is unacceptable. Next time, take the time the doc gives you."

He straightened, and had the numbness in his legs not prevented him from snapping a salute, he would have, "Yes, ma'am."

She sighed, "Back to your other question, Ashley helped me move you. I couldn't leave you asleep on the floor. It's undignified. Especially for an officer," he caught the warning tone in her voice, and nodded.

"I apologize, Shepard," he said sincerely, and looked up at her in surprise when he felt her hand grip his.

"I know," she said softly, and he noticed for the first time that she was still wearing her gear. She'd gone planetside without him, he thought morosely.

"Where did you go?" he asked, rubbing a palm over her plated thigh.

She shivered, "Distress signal, wanted to take a look. It was a trap. Thresher maw."

He frowned, "Please tell me you didn't take that thing out on foot."

She grinned sheepishly at him, "The, uh, Mako was broken, so Garrus had to fix it while Ash and I…"

"Shepard, you could have been killed!" he exclaimed, and gave her shoulders a slight shake. "That was a ver-" he was cut off by her lips against his, and with a smooth motion, she straddled his lap, still in her suit, her heart thundering beneath her breastplate when his hands gripped her rear pulling her closer.

Their tongues dueled for supremacy, and she moaned softly into his mouth. God, she needed him. She pulled away from him, and reluctantly stood. "You know, one of us should really request a transfer at the rate we're going," she murmured to herself.

"I know it," he replied softly, a bit worried at the direction this conversation might be taking.

"But I need you with me," she said, "Not just because of the physical attraction, because God knows, that's almost overwhelming at times. But also because you help keep the Marines on this ship in line better than any other detail leader I've worked with." She gave a frustrated shrug of her shoulders, "The Normandy needs you," she said softly.

He pushed to his feet, prepared now for the numbness in his legs, and wrapped his arms around her, "Then lets take this slow and see where is goes, okay?"

She nodded, and gave a soft smile. "Yeah."


	6. Flame

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

"Shepard, really?" Kaidan stared in disbelief at the flames licking the front end of the Mako, the result of yet another tumble down a mountainside. Garrus snorted at him as he manned the fire suppression canister, slowly bringing the flames back under control.

She had the good grace to at least look sheepish as she shrugged her shoulders, "It looked like fun."

Garrus shook his head as the last of the flames went out, and Kaidan rubbed his temples. As much as he loved being part of her ground crew, it was incredibly stressful, and not because of combat situations. It was because when she was behind the wheel of the Mako, she was like a sixteen year old that was learning how to drive. An incredibly reckless sixteen year old.

"So, which one of us is going to wait here with the Commander this time?" Kaidan asked, already on his omni-tool to request a pick up from Joker. Alliance regs stated that unless there was an emergency, and the squad was in imminent danger, they were not to abandon equipment in the field. Leaving the Mako, even for the amount of time it would require to get the materials needed to make repairs would earn them significantly more than a slap on the wrist. His file was clean, he wanted to make sure it stayed that way.

Garrus eyed Shepard as she poked around the nearby scenery, studying her handiwork. "Yeah, it's your turn to wait. Last time she wandered off and discovered a geth encampment and that was hell to take care of. No, you stand a better chance of keeping her in line."

Kaidan sighed, last time it had been his turn to wait, she'd found a sinkhole, and he'd had to pull her out with his biotics. It had been taxing enough on his implant that a migraine had set in almost immediately. "Fine."

Shepard grinned at him as the pick up for Garrus came, and she saw the exchange of glances, one that said don't leave me alone, and the other that said, I pity you. She snorted at the unlikely friendship that had sprung up between the two, and knew it probably had a lot to do with the antics she seemed incapable of avoiding.

She sidled over to Kaidan, "I'm bored."

He pressed his lips together in a thin line as he stared at her, and she wondered wear the thin scars around his mouth had come from. "Shepard, you got us into this mess with your reckless driving. And I use the term driving very loosely." He narrowed his eyes at her when he caught the bemused expression on her face, "Can't you just wait patiently for a couple of hours? Please?"

She shrugged, and said, "I can try. I guess."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow when her hands went to the seals of her gear, and she stripped out of the heavy layers. It was hot, out in the open with the sun bearing down on them relentlessly. Her pale skin was already turning red, and he sighed, "Shepard, you're getting burned." He pulled her into the shade offered by the truck, and they sat side by side, leaning against a tire. He sat next to her, and removed his own armor, whimpering slightly at the instant relief he felt being out of his sweaty gear.

She smiled and leaned into him, "I know, it's the curse of growing up in space." she turned her head towards him, and her finger traced the slim scars around his lips. "Where did these come from?" she asked softly.

"Oh," he grimaced at the unpleasant memory, "Those are courtesy of Vyrnus." He rubbed his lips self-consciously, "He tried to carve me up, a biotic kick to the face was my response."

She smiled at him, "I like them," she murmured, and leaned into him pressing her lips to each slim line. He closed his eyes in response, and brought his hand up to twine through her hair, cupping the back of her head. "I think they say something about the man you became. The past you rose above."

"Shepard," he whispered softly, "What are you doing?" She shifted, and straddled his lap. His hand slid up her side to cup her breast, and he could feel her heart pounding against the wall of her chest.

"I'm not sure yet, Alenko," she whispered back, and moaned softly as his arm wrapped around her back, pulling her so she rubbed against his stiff erection. He held her just there for a long moment, his mouth fused to hers, his hands finding her hot center, rubbing her through her pants.

She panted against his cheek, and felt heat licking up the back of her neck. "W-w-we can't," she stuttered, and squeezed her eyes shut as an orgasm shuddered through her with a soft gasp. "But, oh God, I want to."

He nodded, and leaned his forehead to hers, grimacing in frustration. He thought about that clean record of his, and suddenly it didn't seem so important. "I would transfer, but I don't want to leave you," he murmured.

She slid out of his lap, and took his hand in hers, "I wouldn't let you go," she replied softly. He pulled her in close, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they waited for Garrus to return.


	7. Formal

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

"Stop looking at me like that," Kaidan muttered from the side of his mouth to Shepard. She'd been watching him all night, and he was worried the Admirals would pick up on it. They were on Arcturus Station, at a celebration for the first human Spectre. Shepard had been dreading every minute, but she had allowed Liara and Ashley to fuss over her. She looked damn good in her blues, damn good.

Kaidan shook his head, and straightened his shoulders as an Admiral came over to congratulate Shepard, and he snapped off a sharp salute. He caught the look she gave him, her jaw clenched with the effort not to reach out and grab him and fuck him senseless.

His dress blues fit him like a glove, and she was itching to get him out of them. She sighed inwardly. Regs. Looking around the room, she saw Captain Anderson talking to Admiral Hackett, and decided to head their way and avoid the temptation Alenko presented.

He was having his own problems, fending off unwanted advances from the single ladies- and a few that weren't. He caught Shepard's eyes across the room, "Can we go?" he mouthed silently, desperately. She took in the petite brunette currently hanging on his arm and nodded.

Once they were on their way back to the ship, he tugged on his collar. "Thanks, I needed to get out of there."

"You certainly didn't lack for female attention," she noted smoothly.

"Unwanted attention," he reminded her quietly. He felt her fingers brush his, her hand briefly gripping his in a light squeeze.

They made their way back to the ship in silence, waiting as the decontamination cycle finished. "I'm going to hit the shower and catch some sleep," he murmured to her, realizing the lateness of the hour due to the skeleton crew in the CIC.

She nodded and they parted ways with wistful looks back at each other, and she headed towards her quarters. She paced, back and forth, until she was certain she'd walk a dent in the floor. "Screw this," she muttered to herself, and stormed out the door, making a beeline for the head.

The small locker room was unisex, and she could still hear the water running in one small stall, but no one else was around.

She slipped out of the soft cotton shorts and tank she'd donned for sleeping, and folded them up on the bench beside Kaidan's. She slid into the stall behind him, and wrapped her arms around him, her cheek pressing into his back.

"Ah, Shepard?" he hissed as her hands slid down his belly, wrapping around his stiff erection. He groaned and leaned his forehead against the wall as her fingers stroked him, playing over the silky head, her grip firm and sure as she pumped him.

The hot spray of the shower hit him in the chest, and with a ragged groan, he turned and pressed her up against the cool metal of the stall. She gasped as his fingers plunged into her slick center, his thumb rubbing circles against her sensitive nub. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts into his chest, her hips riding against his, his arousal slipping against her wet entrance.

"Shepard," he warned, murmuring against her throat as his hands drifted down to grip her ass, hauling her up so her legs could wrap around his waist. His lips pressed against hers, and she felt him pressing against her entrance, and she swallowed hard.

They both went absolutely still, however, when the door slid open and they heard drunken laughter from two of the crew as they stumbled in. His eyes widened, and bored into hers, and she saw the incredulous question posed there, "_You didn't lock the fucking door?"_

She screwed her eyes shut as she felt him slip between her folds, and back out again as he shifted his grip to keep her feet off the floor. Her breath came in swallow pants, and her heart raced in her chest as they waited in perfect silence for the intruders to leave.

They had other plans, however, "Lieutenant, is that you?" caming the slurring voice of Private Fredericks.

Kaidan ground his teeth together, and bit back a groan, "Yes, Private. It's me," His voice sounded strained to her ears, and she tightened her legs around his waist, and her hands dug into his shoulders when she felt herself slipping on the wall at her back.

"You just get back from the fancy party, LT?" came the voice of Private Greico, and a snicker was shared between the drunken cohorts.

"Yes, Private. I had to escort the Commander to the event," he ground out.

"She sure looks smokin' in her blues," Fredericks slurred, and chuckled with Greico.

"Private, that is highly inappropriate and entirely unprofessional. Commander Shepard is your commanding officer," Kaidan snapped, and she pressed her lips together in a thin line to prevent herself from laughing. The irony of his statement was not lost on her. "Now get lost before I write you both up for drunkenness."

"Yes, sir!" they replied and quickly filed out of the room.

As soon as the door shut, he dropped her to her feet and jumped away from her, "Jesus fucking Christ, Shepard! What are you trying to do?" he hissed quietly at her, turning off the showerhead and snagging his towel to wrap around his hips.

She went pale, "I didn't think…"

"That's the fucking problem, Shepard! You never think where I'm involved," he pulled her closer to him, and ruthlessly crushed his lips to hers. "I can't keep us from getting reported when you are hell bent on-"

She held a finger to his lips, "I know. I'm sorry, I know." She shook her head; "I've never had this problem before in my life. In my entire career."

His jaw bulged as he clenched his teeth together, "Shepard, we'll have some shore leave after this is over. After we find Saren, we'll take some shore leave, just the two of us. But this ship is too small, and we're too prominent to keep taking risks like this."

She squeezed his forearm and nodded her agreement, "Okay, I'll _try_ to keep my hands to myself. No promises though."

He sighed, "That's all I can ask for. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm getting back in the shower to take an ice cold one."

She just grinned.


	8. Companion

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

Kaidan found Shepard sitting on the floor in front of Ashley's locker, carefully packing her belongings into a box. She glanced up as he knelt next to her, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, heedless of the others in shuttle bay. She turned into him; her face buried in his throat as she squeezed her eyes shut to prevent the tears threatening to spill over. She'd lost soldiers under her command before, but it never got easier.

"Thank you," he murmured to her. He swallowed the lump in his throat as she turned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tightly for a long time.

"Kaidan, you know I couldn't leave you behind," she whispered. "You're a ranking officer, a powerful biotic, tech expert, and a born leader. Ash was…" she breathed out a sigh, "She wasn't just a grunt, she was so much more than that. She deserved better than to die in a foxhole on a backwater planet."

Kaidan touched his forehead to hers, "I know. And I know why you picked me, logistically it makes sense, but I can't help but wonder, Shepard," he replied, his voice low to prevent them from being overheard.

She squeezed her eyes shut, "Kaidan, had you been the soldier, and Ashley the officer, I would have left you. But I didn't." She rubbed a hand over her temples, and held his gaze for a moment, "I hope you never have to make a decision like that, Kaidan. To decide between two friends, either willing to give their lives to ensure the mission is a success. But I'm glad, and I know that sounds selfish and trite. I'm glad I was able to save you," she cupped his cheek softly, and brushed the pad of her thumb over his lips.

"Shepard," he murmured, and pressed his lips to hers, pulling her close without a second thought. She pulled away, and gave him a sad smile, and got to her feet. He stood, and picked up the box with Ashley's belongings. Knowing she was about to record a videomail to send to Ashley's mother, he followed her to the elevator. "Shepard, you don't have to do this alone," he told her.

She gave him a slight smile, "I know, and thank you." He shifted the box to rest against his hip, and laced his fingers in hers.

"You never have to be alone, Shepard. I'm here for you, no matter what."

She stayed silent, just leaned her head against his shoulder as they rode the elevator in silence. This man was everything she'd ever hoped for, a true companion that didn't attempt to change her, and accepted her just as she was. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized she loved him, and probably had since she'd first laid eyes on him several months ago.

"Kaidan, I-" she trailed off, and her gaze met his.

He read everything in that one look, and with a hand at the small of her back, pulled her in for a deep kiss. He pulled away with a soft sigh, and followed her to her cabin.

She straightened her shoulders, and gestured for him to pull up a chair to sit beside her. She turned on her terminal, and after a deep breath, began her message.

"Mrs. Williams, my name in Commander Shepard, and this is Lieutenant Alenko. Your daughter has served with us with honor for the past six months. It is with the deepest regret and sympathy that I must inform you that she was killed in action on…"

Kaidan sat beside her, stone faced as she continued on, the customary message sent to the family of deceased soldiers punctuated be the emotion in her voice as she conveyed her message. When she was done and the camera was turned off, she crawled into his lap, and pressed her face into his chest, her back heaving with silent sobs as he held her, together mourning the loss of a good friend and comrade.


	9. Move

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

Kaidan admired the sway of Shepard's hips as they hurried back to the Normandy following a meeting with Captain Anderson. She marched along at a fast clip, and he was finding himself hard pressed not to stare. She tapped her foot impatiently as they waited for the decon cycle to finish.

"Joker, as soon as that thing goes green, get us out of here," she ordered, and stood at the back of his chair, waiting for the locks to be overridden. Kaidan placed a hand on the small of her back, and stood unprofessionally close to her, waiting.

She breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the light flickered green, and without hesitation, they were through the relay, headed for the lost planet of Ilos. "It will be a few hours, Commander. I'll let you know when we get there," Joker told her.

She murmured her thanks, and left the cockpit. "So, you and the Commander, huh?" Joker asked, eyeing the older man appraisingly.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Joker," Kaidan replied, rubbing his forehead. "What kind of question is that anyway?"

Joker snorted, "No, Alenko, the real question is why are you still up here? We could all be dead this time tomorrow, or court marshaled, so what are you waiting for?"

Struck by the realization the Joker was right, "Thanks, Joker," he said as he turned on his heels, and headed to the crew deck through the CIC. He paused in front of Shepard's cabin, knowing that as soon as he walked through that door, there was no going back. He squared his shoulders and opened the door.

She looked around at him as he moved into the room, and her face lit with a smile as she stood, and leaned back against her desk. "Commander," he murmured, and stopped in front of her, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Don't you think we're a little past titles?" she asked, the corners of her lips tugging into a smile as she wonder what he was doing here, hoping it was exactly what she thought.

He chuckled, "We're past a lot of things," he replied, his gravelly voice sliding down her spine like a caress. He brought his hand to his chin, and cocked his head to the side, "What happens if this doesn't work out, Shepard? I mean, we mutinied, stole a prototype warship. If they wanted to get technical, they could throw in kidnapping." He gave a nervous laugh, "We're one hell of an example of humanities best and brightest, huh?"

She sighed, "I keep reminding myself that we're doing the right thing. I don't believe myself yet."

He took a step closer, and brought his hand up to cup her cheek, "If I didn't think you were doing the right thing, I wouldn't be here, Shepard." Her hand came up to wrap around his wrist as her eyes stared into his. "It will really hit the fan when we get to Ilos, and, well," he hesitated, and took a half step closer to her, "If things don't go well, I want you to know that I've enjoyed serving under you."

"Kaidan, I don't think I've had the pleasure of you serving under me," she replied, and a sly smile graced her lips.

"Ouch, I walked right into that one," he chuckled, "I would say something about regs against fraternization, but I don't think I care anymore, Shepard." His hands found her hips and he pulled her closer. "I think about losing you, and I can't stand it. And the galaxy will just keep going, everything, even the Reapers will come around again, but you and I, we, are important right now."

She slid her hands up his chest, up and around to cup the back of his head, "Bunk here tonight, with me," she murmured.

He grinned at her, "Is that an order, Commander?"

She raised an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes, "Shut up and get over here."

He laughed, and dropped his mouth to hers, "Careful, Shepard, or I might think you're abusing your authority, a serious breach of protocol," he whispered against her lips.

Her arms tightened around his neck in response, and his hands slid to the curve of her backside, pulling her flush against him. She moaned softly as his lips traveled along her jawline, his five o'clock shadow rubbing against her sensitive skin. His hands twined in her hair, scattering pins as the long tresses cascaded over her shoulders. Her hands fumbled with his belt, just as he pulled her shirt from her pants and over her head. He pulled away, and pressed his lips to the swell of her breast, gradually backing her towards the bed.

"Kaidan," she murmured as he worked the fly of her pants, slipping them down the curve of her hips.

"Hmm?" he hummed against her throat, reluctantly pulling away as she dragged his shirt over his head. He took in the sight of her naked before him and licked his lips. "Beautiful," he murmured, before claiming her lips once more. He gave a slight wiggle of his hips as she pushed his pants to pool on the floor.

With a wicked grin, he planted a hand on her chest and pushed her back onto the bed, and pounced on her when she gave a silky laugh. She rolled on top of him, pressing kisses to his belly and chest. She slowly crawled up his torso, and leaned into his ear, "Can the last few months count as foreplay?" she whispered, her voice husky with need. "Because I want you inside me right now."

"Oh, God yes," he whispered back with a groan as she sunk down on his thick length, her walls stretching round him as he filled her. She tossed her head, shaking her hair back over her shoulders as she rolled her hips, riding him as he thrust his hips into her silky core. He took in the sensual movement of her hips and belly, and swallowed when a mewling cry left her lips as an orgasm rocked her.

He gripped her hips, and rolled her to her back, and pumped his hips into her, feeling her muscles clench around him as he climaxed with a harsh grunt.

Shepard tilted her head to find his lips, capturing them in a sweet kiss. He felt her hands drifting up and down his back, tracing the muscles she found there. "So, Kaidan," she murmured against his lips, "When do we go again?"

He licked his lips and felt himself stiffening within her again, "I'm not finished with you be a long shot," he growled sexily.

She just moaned in response as he gave a slow thrust of his hips.


	10. Silver

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

_A/N: I took some inspiration from the awesome, amazing, panty-igniting thing eternalshiva wrote last night. Because still fangirling over it. It's called Galactic, and if you haven't read it yet, WAT'RE YOU STILL DOING HERE, GO NOW. Ahem, enjoy!_

* * *

"Kaidan," Shepard murmured, slipping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek against the back of his shoulder. "It's about damn time we have a few moments alone." She was referring to the back-to-back meetings they had been sitting in on, their presence mandatory.

He turned in her arms and cupped her cheek, "Not so alone," he mumbled, and jerked his head towards Liara, who was eyeing them curiously. She heaved a sigh and pulled away from him, wincing at the persistent ache in her shoulder. "Arm acting up again?" he asked, referring to one of the injuries she had sustained when Sovereign had crashed into the Presidium tower. "You know, Chakwas really wants you to take an administrative leave. You've earned it Shepard."

She grimaced; riding a desk was not her idea of fun, "I know, but there's work to be done."

He saw Liara leave out of the corner of his eye, which meant they were finally alone in the mess. "What about that shore leave?" he asked softly, his lips drifting over her ear in a line of soft kisses, his hands pulling her hips flush against him, and she could feel his thick erection pressing against the fabric of his pants.

She gave him a lopsided grin and ran her hands through his hair, and rose up on her toes when she discovered a single grey hair on his right temple. "Kaidan. You…have a grey hair," she said, and bit her lip at the idea of his dark curls going salt and pepper, and felt a shot of lust coil deep in her belly.

"I… what?" he pulled his head back, torn between lust and confusion.

"Right here, you have a grey hair," she took his chin in her hand, and tilted his head down as she studied his thick curls, running her hands through his hair, drawing a moan from him at the feel of her fingers on his scalp. "Oh! Another one!" she exclaimed in delight.

"Shepard," he exhaled in exasperation, "What are you doing?"

Her lips curved in a sultry smile, "I just wanted to make sure you were well on your way to being a silver fox."

He gaped at her is disbelief, and sputtered indignantly, "I'll have you know I earned every one of those being putting up with your destruction-prone ass!"

"I know," she purred, and crushed her lips to his, "I think it's sexy," she murmured against his lips, and moaned softly when is large hands gripped her rear. "I have a thing for older men," she gasped when he turned her, and braced her hands on the table in front of her.

"I'm not that much older than you," he growled low in his throat, his hand sneaking under her shirt to grasp her firm breast, rolling the pert nipple between his fingers.

"Ah, I know that," she squirmed against him as his other hand slid into her pants, pressing against the delicate cluster of nerves just hard enough for her eyes to cross. "But it gives the illusion…Jesus," she gasped as an orgasm rocked her unexpectedly.

She felt his hands pushing her pants down her hips just enough to grant him access to her wet center, and in an efficient motion, he freed himself from the confines of his pants, and felt the silky head of his arousal pressing against her slick entrance, teasing her as he stroked her slippery folds. She moaned his name as he pressed into her, just an inch, and back out again, a strangled noise of protest trapped in her throat as finally, _finally,_ he slid home.

His lips found her shoulder, travelled to the base of her skull; his teeth scraped along the line of her spine, and she bucked against the sensation, her knees buckling as pleasure swamped her. His strong arm held her steady, and she felt the rumble in his chest as he drawled, "Careful, sweetheart. Wouldn't want you to get _banged up."_

She let out a breathy laugh as he thrust his hips into her, and reflexively she tightened her muscles against him, and grinned at the ragged groan he uttered in response. She gasped as his teeth found the sweet spot on her spine again, one hand kneading her breast, the fingers of the other flicking against her clitoris, and with a sharp thrust of his hips, his name flew from her lips as she found her second release.

Her hands slid against the smooth surface of the table, and he swallowed hard as she clamped down on him with every thrust of his hips. He groaned deep in his throat as his own orgasm built within him, and with a harsh shout, he pulsed within her, and bite down hard on her neck, sending her unexpectedly over the edge once more.

She panted as she struggled to draw a normal breath, and moaned softly as he slid out of her, and rolled her neck, feeling loose and limber as she turned and rested her ass against the table. "Amazing," she murmured, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, felt him smile in response. She reluctantly reached down and pulled her pants up, and they each set their uniforms back to rights.

"Oh, I should probably tell you that this won't be fraternization for much longer," she smirked at the stunned look her shot her way. "Anderson and I put in a request for a promotion for you. We're just waiting for the paperwork to clear the Brass."

"What?" he murmured stupidly, and blinked at her.

"Congratulations, Lieutenant Commander," she said smugly, and gave a delighted laugh as he caught her up in a fierce hug. "Best news is I get to keep you with me. You'll be my new XO."

"Shepard," he murmured, "Thank you."

She smiled, "Don't thank me, thank Anderson. He didn't miss that public display of affection on the Citadel. He thought maybe we should do something about it."

He shrugged sheepishly, "I was just glad you were alive."

She grinned at him, "I plan to stay alive for a long time yet, Kaidan," and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips.


	11. Prepared

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

He wasn't ready for this, he thought to himself as he squared his shoulders, ensuring the line of his dress blues fell perfectly. He heaved a shuddering breath as he studied his reflection in the mirror. He hardly recognized the pale, drawn, and gaunt man staring back at him.

He should never have left her, even if it meant that he died with her. He shook his head, there was no room for could-have-beens, or should-have-dones. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and opened the bedroom door to find his father standing there waiting for him.

"No one would think less of you if you didn't go, son," his dad told him. "I know this is hard for you." Kaidan stopped a few steps away, and bit his lips as he looked up at him, his eyes watering with unshed tears. "I would say I know what you are going through, but no one is ever prepared for the loss of someone they love."

Kaidan choked back a sob as his father pulled him into a hard embrace, "I know you didn't have her for long, but the short time you did have her has to be enough, Kaidan."

Father held son as he broke down, finally giving way to the tears he had been holding back from the crew, staying strong for them as their commanding officer. Then, throwing himself into work, despite the fact that Chakwas had recommended he take a leave of absence. It wasn't until now, six weeks later, that he felt able to let a crack show.

"If only Joker had left the cockpit," Kaidan ground out, still unable to let go of his anger at the pilot.

"Hey, what helmsman do you know that would willingly abandon their ship?" his dad waited as those words suck in, before he continued on. "It's what they are trained for, son. To go down with their ship. Your Commander wasn't willing to let that happen, and she very nearly saved everyone."

Kaidan sucked in a deep breath as he realized his dad was right. "She was always ready. Always prepared in case the next fight was the last."

"Sounds like she was a smart woman. I'm sorry I missed the chance to meet her," he murmured softly. "I'd be happy to go with you."

"You would have liked her, Dad. She was always ready to go, had a sense of humor, and didn't hesitate to put me in my place in spite of…"

His dad gave him a sad smile, and cut him off mid sentence, "She sounds like the kind of girl your mom and I always wanted you to bring home."

Kaidan gave a lopsided half-smile, "I would have asked her to marry me eventually. I know that much."

"You still have a life to live, son. She would want that for you."

Kaidan swallowed, "I know, I just need a little more time."

His dad just nodded as they headed out the door. He drove his son to the memorial service, and stood in the back with him, Kaidan being unwilling to get any closer, unwilling to talk to the dignitaries waiting to speak to the highest ranking officer left from the Normandy.

Kaidan blinked in surprise when he found Joker standing next to him after the service was over, and he waited to see what the pilot would say, not trusting his own voice.

"I'm sorry, Alenko," Joker mumbled, and rubbed his hand over his face. "I should have-"

"No, you did what you are trained to do," Kaidan laid a hand on his shoulder, and held his gaze for a long moment. "I don't blame you, Jeff."

Joker heaved a sigh as Kaidan moved past him. If Kaidan didn't blame him, why the hell did he feel so guilty?


	12. Knowledge

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

"Liara, Shepard is dead," Kaidan informed the asari curtly, annoyed at her presence in his office.

"Yes, but what if-" Liara began.

"What part of she got spaced do you refuse to believe? Joker saw it himself, the poor bastard," Kaidan exploded at her, his normally cool temper fractious at her insinuations that maybe Shepard wasn't dead, or that she could be brought back if she was. "What you are suggesting is impossible," he finished quietly, dismissively, finally.

"But my contacts say it could be possible, please, Kaidan. You have to trust me on this," Liara pleaded desperately.

"Liara, you're a sweet kid, but no. I can't." He pushed away from his desk, and stood, "If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with Anderson in a few minutes."

She stared at him for a long time before she shook her head and wordlessly left. He frowned and wished he could believe her. He would give anything to have Shepard back with him. Anything.

This wasn't the first time she had come to him with this half-cocked story, of a secret organization that had the resources to bring his love back to life. It was too far-fetched, but obviously Liara believed it.

Pondering what to do with this knowledge, he looked down at the framed picture of Shepard on his desk. He stroked her cheek through the glass, and sighed. She had been so happy when that particular photo had been taken, crawling out of the Mako, and glowing smile on her face as her eyes fixed on him across the bay. It had been six long, endless months. Six months of sleepless night and constant migraines. Anderson had insisted he take an administrative leave, and he was forced to ride a desk and teach classes to biotic recruits in the meantime.

He enjoyed the teaching, and his students were eager to learn what he had to teach them, but he dearly missed working in the field. He glanced at the picture again, and suddenly angry, with himself and with Shepard for leaving him too soon, he slammed the frame face down, heard the tinkle of breaking glass.

He scowled, and made a mental note to stock up on energy bars when his stomach growled at him. He was constantly lecturing his students on the importance of feeding their biotic metabolisms, and he wasn't doing the same. He made the decision, then and there, to stop wallowing in grief and self-pity, and to make something of himself, to become the soldier Shepard had always told him he could be.

'_What better way to work out his frustration than pumping iron at the gym?' _he thought to himself, and gathered the various datapads he would need for his meeting. In spite of himself, he turned the frame back over, and spoke to her, as had become somewhat of a habit over the past few months, "I'm going to live for you, Shepard," he whispered, and put the frame away in a drawer. It wasn't doing him any good on his desktop.


	13. Denial

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

"Commander Shepard and I maintained a professional relationship on board the Normandy," Kaidan lied between his teeth at the military tribunal being held nine months after her death. Despite the fact that she was gone, he didn't want anymore smears on her reputation, not to mention his own. He still had his career to be concerned about.

"Lieutenant Commander Alenko, need we remind you that lying under oath is grounds for court-marshal?"

Kaidan bit back a low growl, and instead gave the prosecutor a bored look, "Of course not. However, questioning me about events that never happened is a waste of my time and yours. Has any of the crew complained that we behaved inappropriately?" he snapped at the younger man, using the tone he used on his students when they were out of line. "I will not sit here and let this whitewash of Shepard's character continue. She was a damned hero, and deserves better than to have her every action dissected by a group of bureaucrats that weren't there!"

The prosecutor lost his composure and just stuttered under the full brunt of Kaidan's steely gaze. Admiral Hackett, who was begrudgingly on the committee, stood, "Thank you, Commander Alenko. You're dismissed."

Kaidan stood and gave a salute before turning on his heel to stalk out of the room. He nodded at Joker, who was sitting on a bench just outside. He looked terrible.

"Alenko," Joker said by way of greeting. "Good to see you."

"Yeah, you too, Joker," he said softly, and sat next to the pilot. "I heard they grounded you. Sorry for that. The Alliance needs you." Kaidan lapsed into awkward silence. While he didn't strictly blame the pilot for Shepard's death, he was certainly aware that it was a direct result of his actions.

"They tried to make me admit that you and Shepard were bumping uglies," Joker muttered out the side of his lips. "I denied everything. Shepard deserves better than this shit!" Joker ground out, showing his unstable temper. Kaidan could instantly see why he'd been grounded.

"Where did they come up with the-" Kaidan was cut off by a snort and a sharp gesture of Joker's hand.

"You weren't as discreet as you thought you were. The whole crew knew. But none of us would have said a word. Probably a rumor started on the Citadel by a civilian," Joker rolled his eyes, and carefully got to his feet, leaning heavily on his crutches. "You look good, Kaidan. Better than you have."

Kaidan nodded, and frowned slightly, "Take care of yourself, Joker. Shepard wouldn't like seeing you like this."

Joker shook his head, "I know, but they grounded me. Took away the only thing that means a damn to me. I'm taking an extended leave of absence. I have a few offers to fly freighters. Keeps me busy." He gave a slight shrug.

Kaidan got to his feet, slowly meandered with Joker as he hobbled along, "The brass just cleared me to go back in the field. I'll be installing planetary defense canons for some of the colonies in the terminus systems. But you can get in touch if you need me."

Joker jerked his head, "Heard the Council was making noises about you being a Spectre candidate."

Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, "Yeah, I don't know if that's job I would want to have though. Spectres tend to end up dead or swept under the carpet when it's convenient for the Council."

Joker snorted, but stayed silent.

"Anyway, I have work to do, so I should go. Seriously, Joker, take care of yourself."

"Thanks, you too."


	14. Wind

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

He hated this godforsaken planet.

The colonists were untrusting, and the wind cut straight through to the bone, despite the layers he wore. His posting was finally, finally over, but he couldn't leave until this windstorm passed.

He paced around the tiny room he'd been given, staring at his bag of gear sitting by the door. With an impatient sigh, he sat at the table and his omni-tool flickered to life. By some miracle, extranet access hadn't been cut off by the storm howling outside.

He read through his messages, and felt his blood run cold at the message from Anderson: _There have been several sighting of Shepard, and there are rumors she is working with Cerberus. Further intel suggests Cerberus may be behind the missing colonies. Your next assignment has been changed; you are going to Horizon to investigate. Ostensibly, you will be there to gather data as it has been suggested that Horizon will be the next colony to be hit_.

Kaidan turned off his 'tool, and felt a migraine brewing at his temples. Shepard, alive? How was it even a possibility? _Liara had insisted it would happen_, said a niggling voice in the back of his head. But why would she work for Cerberus after the things they had seen?

He shook his head, innocent until proven guilty, and he shouldn't pass judgment on her until he had the truth. With that thought, a sudden need for her swamped him, and he longed to hold her, to inhale her unique scent, one of gun oil, Alliance issue soap, and a hint of cinnamon and vanilla; a scent he hadn't forgotten in the two long years since she'd been gone.

He'd tried to hold off on thinking of her much, and though his grief had mostly passed, and he'd tried to date some other women, but it was never the same. Shepard had ruined him for everyone but her.

Thinking of her hot lips wrapped around him that one time in the Mako, he freed himself of his pants, and wrapped his hand around his rigid shaft. It had been too long, he thought to himself, bring another memory to mind: him sitting on the floor after a sparring session, leaning against one tire of the Mako; both of them glistening with sweat as she crawled into his lap.

She'd made short work of their gym shorts, he recalled, his callused hand pumping up and down his length, drawing a groan from his throat at the memory of her slick walls stretching as she slid down him, tightening with every thrust of her hips.

He remembered with perfect clarity her mewling pants as her orgasm welled up and sent her tumbling over the edge, and at the thought, his own orgasm ripped through him, and he spent himself into his hand with a harsh grunt.

He sighed and headed to the bathroom to clean up. He stared at himself in the mirror, had he really just jerked himself off at the memory of his dead lover that now might not be dead? Suddenly angry with himself and Shepard, he flared brightly, and slammed his fist into the glass.

He stood, panting at his outburst, his fist dripping blood on the pristine white countertop. "Pathetic, Alenko," he muttered to himself, and set about cleaning up his knuckles, applying medigel to staunch the bleeding. That task done, he cleaned up the sticky mess on his pants, and changed.

He glanced outside as he was stuffing his dirty pants in his pack, and noticed the wind had finally died down. He threw on a jacket, and hurried out into to storm, determined to catch the next shuttle off this colony, hoping to find Shepard sooner rather than later.


	15. Order

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

Kaidan stared down at the requisition order on his omni-tool, and wondered what he was missing. The damned guns still weren't working, and he still couldn't figure out why not. He'd looked over every bit of the coding, but still hadn't had any luck getting the targeting matrix to work properly. He frowned as he realized his communication channels had been disrupted, and headed out to the main thoroughfare of the colony.

"I don't like this," he muttered to himself, taking in the darkening sky, watching as engineers scurried about trying to get the communications operational. He was certain getting the guns online should be the priority. "Lilith!" he called, spotting the only colonist that didn't refuse to speak to him, "We've got a problem."

"Still can't calibrate the targeting matrix?" she asked as she fell in step beside him.

"Those defense towers are useless if we don't figure it out," he said, shaking his head as he wove his way through passing colonists.

"Sorry, Commander, but getting our comm. systems back online take priority."

"Yeah," he sighed, "Okay. I'm surprised people haven't tried to blame that one on me, too," he paused as she turned to face him.

"People out here don't trust the Alliance. It's nothing personal." She turned and looked at the sky as they both heard the low hum of an engine, "What is that?"

Kaidan unclipped his rifle from his back and peered through the scope, "Get everyone to the safe house." The report of his rifle was loud as he fired off a few rounds at the swarm of bugs bearing down on them, "I'll cover you. Run!"

He emptied a clip, and slammed a fresh one into the chamber, saw Lilith trip from the corner of his eye. "Hurry," he ordered as he helped her to her feet. He let out a shout as one of the strange bugs stung him, and pulled it from his neck to toss it away. His vision blurred as the poison coursed through him, but he shook it off, he had to protect these civilians, no matter the cost.

He took a step forward, his hand going for the trigger of his rifle, and the paralytic agent in the poison took full effect, freezing him in place. '_Damn it!' _he thought, still fully aware of the colonists panicking and rushing to get away. _'What is that?'_ he wondered as he spotted a strange alien heading his way, '_Collectors?'_

His heart pounded in his chest as two stopped in front of him, cocking their heads to the side as they studied him. He breathed a confused sigh of relief when they moved passed him, but watched in horror as they began loading the other colonists into strange pods, carrying them away.

Determination shot through him, and dark energy wavered over him as he flared brightly, but to no avail. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried again, over and over for what felt like hours but was actually only 45 minutes or so. The Collectors had long since moved further into the colony, and he could hear the distinct report of gunfire in the distance. '_Back-up? The Alliance?'_ he thought to himself, and would have shouted with relief when his finger twitched, first one, then another, then his wrist, elbow, shoulder; as the paralysis wore off. He fell to his knees in exhaustion, but picked himself up, and sprinted towards the sounds of battle.

He glanced up at the sky as the defense cannons roared to life, firing at the massive Collector ship. Who ever it was, they had sent the Collectors packing, and the ground vibrated violently as the ship took off. He skidded around a corner, and stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw.

It was Shepard, rubbing her temples as Delan argued with her. He blinked in surprise when he saw Garrus Vakarian standing at her back, and a salarian who was nodding sagely as he poked around the area.

"You're some type of big Alliance hero," Delan said dismissively.

"Commander Shepard, captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel," Kaidan said as he walked toward her, hardly believing his eyes. "You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost."

"All the good people we lost, and you got left behind? Figures," Delan said in disgust, his arms crossed over his chest. "Screw this, I'm done with you Alliance types," Delan stomped off, clearly angry.

Kaidan and Shepard stared at each other, neither sure how to make the first move, neither really willing. Finally, after assuring himself it was really her, he took three steps forward, and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her familiar curves fit against his body just as though they were meant to. She tilted her head up, and their lips met for a brief moment before he mumbled, "I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did."

She shook her head as he stepped back, "It's a long story. You don't sound too happy to see me. Something bothering you, Kaidan?" Her blue eyes, those same blue eyes that had haunted his dreams for two long years bore into his.

"Yeah something's bothering me, I spent the last two years believing you were dead." he spat out, his temper getting the better of him. "I thought we had something, Shepard. Something real. I loved you." He grit his teeth for a minute, and saw Garrus cock his head to the side. "Thinking you were dead tore me apart, how could you put me through that?" He furrowed his brow, his brown eyes sparking with anger. "Why didn't you try to contact me?"

"I'm sorry, Kaidan, but I was clinically dead. It took two years to bring me back. So much time has passed, you've moved on. I don't want to reopen old wounds," she said, a hint of sorrow in her voice.

"I did move on," he said, and watched the surprise flicker across her face. "At least, I thought I did. And now we have reports about you and Cerberus. Alliance intel thought Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. They got a tip this might be the next colony to get hit." He made a frustrated gesture with his hand, "Anderson stonewalled me, but there were rumors you weren't dead. That you were working for the enemy."

"Building the defense towers was just a cover story, the Alliance sent you here to investigate me, didn't they?" Shepard asked, more than a little ticked off.

"I was here for Cerberus. You were just a rumor," he replied, taking a step closer to her. Despite his anger, he still itched to get his hands on her, to feel her pressed against him again, and he grimaced at the uncomfortable tightening of his gear. "I wanted to believe you were alive, but I never expected anything like this.

"You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Allaince, you betrayed me," he ground out.

"Kaidan, you know me. You know I'd only do this for the right reason," she shot back, her own temper rising to match his. She took a step forward, "You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting human colonies, and they are working with the Reapers.

"I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus," he snapped, "They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you! What if they are behind it, what if they are working with the Collectors?"

"You're letting how you feel about their history get in the way of the facts," she said, her tone calm and placating. It drove him mad.

"Maybe," he rasped, "Or maybe you feel like you own them because they saved you. Maybe you're the one that's not thinking straight." He realized he was standing toe to toe with her, each glowering at the other, the hum of their biotics a palpable thing.

"You've changed, but I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier, always will be. I've got to report back to the Citadel, they can decide if they believe your story or not," he turned his back on her, and squared his shoulders as he prepared to walk away from her.

He heard her sigh, "So long, Kaidan."

He turned back to look at her, "Goodbye, Shepard. And be careful." He turned back to leave her standing in that field, a bereft expression on her face.

She ground her teeth, and Garrus heard her jaw pop from the effort, "Ah, Shepard?"

"Stay here," she ordered, and marched off in Kaidan's wake. She caught up to him in the eerily silent colony, and jerked him back to face her when he just kept walking. "Kaidan, we need to talk."

He squeezed his eyes shut as her scent assaulted his nose. "No, I'm done talking," he growled, and advanced on her, distantly surprised when she gave way, backing her up until she was pressed against the wall of a nearby building. "Finding you alive, Shepard, I can't decide if I want to kill you for abandoning me for two years, or fuck you brainless in relief," he rumbled, his lips close to her ear.

"Kaidan, I don't think now is the time," she murmured softly, but she still shivered when his hands found the release of her armor, and her back arched helplessly as he pulled the chest plate away and roughly cupped her breast with his palm.

"Good to know some things don't change," he mumbled, flicking her puckered nipple through the layer of fabric she wore beneath her gear. "But some things do," his teeth scraped against the flesh of her throat, tasting the salt on her skin, and she moaned in protest. "I'm not the same man you once knew."

Her head fell back with a dull thud as his commanding hands slid into her pants, stroking her silken folds, finding her already hot and wet for him. "I-I-I-" she stammered as he pressed hard on her aching nub, and an orgasm coursed through her.

Her vision blurred, and she blinked several times before her gaze met his again, "I can see that, Commander," she swallowed as he relentlessly toyed with her, and she flew over the edge again when he pressed first one long finger into her slick entrance, and then another. "Kaidan," she gasped, giving up her protest, instead her hands found the release of his own gear with the practiced ease of a career soldier.

"You always were easy to get off," he taunted as she slumped weakly against the wall, his fingers still stroking her wet sex. "But it seems now that Cerberus has rebuilt you, they upgraded that particular aspect." He saw her eyes flash with anger as she immediately straightened up.

"I doubt you're in a much better place," she asserted, her hand slipping into his pants, wrapping around his thick arousal, stroking the silky head with the pad of her thumb. Her grip was firm, almost painful with the strength she used, and he was just barely able to stifle a groan.

"I can still take ample care of you, Shepard," he whispered harshly, and threw her off balance when his hands left her and he spun her around to face the wall, ripping her pants down to her knees in with one deft motion. He nudged her feet apart, and she bucked violently against his grip as they fought for dominance.

"Stay. Still." He ground out; his teeth clamping down on her shoulder, and felt her knees quiver in response.

"No." she whispered in response, and groaned loudly when she felt his head slip between her hot folds; an inch, then two before she came to her senses and sharply jerked her hips forward and he slipped out with a groan of disbelief. She had no intentions of making this easy for him, no matter how much she longed to feel him buried to the hilt within her.

Her breath left her lungs with a gasp as he turned her back to face him, and his lips crashed down on hers, teeth biting, tongues warring until the taste of copper filled their mouths.

"Your lips are bleeding," she gasped against his mouth.

"Yours are, too," he murmured back in response. He hooked a strong arm under her thigh, and lifted her up against the wall; "I plan to fuck you, hard."

"I plan to let you," she replied breathlessly, and arched her back sharply as he impaled her with his waiting erection, and her thighs gripped his hips. Her nails bit into his shoulders as he pounded into her, her breath leaving her with panting gasps. "Kaidan," she wailed as another orgasm tore through her, and briefly she prayed her squad wouldn't come looking for her.

"You aren't thinking about me, are you?" he demanded, and gripped her chin and forced her eyes to meet his, and gave a strong thrust of his hips, smirking as her eyes crossed, and a small cry left her lips. "That's better," he murmured, and crushed his mouth to hers, his hips setting a punishing rhythm.

Her molten center clenched around him, and she shuddered in his arms as she climaxed once again, her sharp nails drawing blood as she arched her back, taking him over the edge with her.

Slowly, they slid to the ground in a tangled heap, and furious kisses gave way to softer ones, and angry words became hushed expressions of love. "Come with me," she urged softly, frowning as he pulled his pants back up his hips and gathered his armor in a neat pile.

"No," he said firmly, "I won't compromise who I am to go with you, Shepard." He leaned over, and activated her omni-tool, tapped out a few commands, "But you can contact me through that. Even Cerberus won't be able to hack it."

She gave him a lopsided smile, "I've missed you," she murmured.

"Not nearly as much as I've missed you, Shepard," he replied sadly, and set to work helping her back into her gear.


	16. Thanks

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

"Shepard, we don't have time to go back to the Citadel," Miranda scowled at her, clearly unwilling to cooperate with Shepard's request to head back one last time before they headed through the Omega-4 relay.

"Oh no? Did I not help you make sure your sister was safe on Illium, at the expense of considerable time and resources?" Shepard raised an eyebrow at her XO. She was determined to have her way, and it would be a shame to through Miranda out of the airlock if she didn't cooperate.

"Yes, but…" Miranda sighed.

"Did I not help Jacob find his father, again, at the expense of considerable time and effort? Have I not similarly helped Mordin, Jack, Grunt, Garrus, Legion, Tali, Thane, Kasumi, and Zaeed?" Shepard ran a hand through her hair in agitation, pacing the mess as she confronted Miranda.

"Every one of the ground crew has needed something from _me, _needed _my help_ for some unfinished business, to take care of some distraction, and you dare to tell me we don't have _time_ when I demand the chance to take care of my own ghosts?" Shepard whirled on the other woman, her biotics flaring as she snapped, dimly aware that they were attracting an audience. "Need I remind you, _again_, that you are not in charge on this ship.

Miranda scoffed, "No, the Illusive Man is and-"

Shepard cut her off, her voice dangerously low, "Is he?" she growled low in her throat. "Are you still so certain about that?" she added with an arrogant jerk of her chin.

Miranda blinked at Shepard in surprise.

"Miranda, let me be clear. The Illusive Man is no more in charge of this ship than you are. Since day one, I've had Garrus here working on ways to take this ship back from Cerberus if that is what it came down to. I've been using Cerberus for their resources since day one because it was convenient to do so." She jerked her head towards Garrus and Tali, who were looking on with amused expressions on their faces; well, Garrus was, anyway. "Now, Tali and Garrus tell me if I did take the ship as my own, it would be at the cost of losing EDI, and that would be a shame, but if it helps me prove my balls are bigger than the Illusive Man's, well, so be it."

Miranda frowned, "There's no need to be crude, Shepard."

Shepard gave the other woman a wolfish grin, her blue eyes sparkling in delight; she knew she'd won this round. "Oh, I'm sorry, Miranda, I would hate to offend your delicate sensibilities," she said with glee, just barely stifling a laugh.

Miranda ran her own hand through her hair, "Fine, the ground squad can have 24 hours shore leave on the Citadel. I'm sorry, but everyone else needs to remain here as EDI is tasked to capacity while running the diagnostic on the Reaper IFF."

There were some groans of protest, but mostly they were good-natured about it, and Shepard headed down to the shuttle bay, cheerfully tapping out a message on her omni-tool.

_Hey, I managed to "persuade" the warden that I needed 24 on the Citadel to take care of some things. I hope you aren't on duty tomorrow._

She sent the message, and grinned when she received a reply almost immediately.

_When you say persuade, do you mean you had to threaten to throw her out of the airlock if you didn't get your way? Or did you threaten to steal the ship? Either way, I'm clear for tomorrow._

She worried her bottom lip as she read his reply, no one knew her like he did, and she tapped out another message as her crew boarded the shuttle.

_We're loading up the shuttle now, so we'll be there in a few hours. Meet me in front of Darkstar at 1500?_

She could picture his grin in her minds eye as she quickly received one last message before they were out of range.

_Hurry._

'Oh yes, Commander, that was certainly the plan,' she thought to herself as she strapped in for the ride. Unfortunately, the shuttle wasn't as fast as the Normandy, and she passed the time playing Skyllian Five with Jacob. She was terrible and she knew it, but she had one hell of a poker face, and despite how bad her cards always seemed to be, she managed to win more than she lost.

"I don't know how to manage it, Shepard," Jacob complained, and he glanced up at the pilot announced they were five minutes out from Citadel.

"Just lucky, I guess," she replied.

Garrus scoffed, "No, you're mean as hell when you play cards, that's how you do it."

She shook her head, and began the agonizing wait as they fought the traffic jockeying for a spot to dock on the Citadel. She grinned as she used the Spectre card to ensure they got a prime spot, and after they parked, she instructed her squad to meet back here in 24 hours.

"Where will you be, Commander?" Miranda asked, "I need to know for-"

"Miranda, rest assured, you'll be able to reach me if it is an emergency. Otherwise, if you contact me and it isn't an emergency, I'm throwing you out the airlock when we get back to the ship," she warned cheerfully, already heading out into Zakera Ward, "That goes for every last one of you!" she called over her shoulder, positive that none of them would follow her after that warning. She glanced at her 'tool, she was already running late.

She jogged through the civilians, darting in and out amongst them as she headed towards her meet. She skidded to a stop when she saw him sitting on a bench, a ball cap pulled low over his eyes as he stretched out, taking a rare moment to relax. He was still in his ACU's and she took a second to appreciate how well they fit him, and how much he'd filled out in the last two and a half years.

She slid onto the bench next to him, and tugged the cap up, and pressed her lips to his. "Sorry I'm late," she murmured quietly.

He licked his lips as she pulled away slightly, "It's okay, I needed a little downtime."

Her jaw worked as a smile tugged at her lips; "Well, consider your downtime over until tomorrow. I have plans for you, Kaidan."

He chuckled under his breath as she pulled him to his feet, and they fell in step with each other with practiced ease. He still wasn't trusting of Cerberus, but he was convinced this woman at his side was the woman he'd fallen in love with three years earlier. She flashed a smile at him as they walked along, and he felt his heart skip a beat, "So, what do these plans entail, Shepard," he murmured in her ear, and his palm ghosted over her backside, sliding along the curve of her spine to rest at the small of her back.

She shivered against his touch, and leaned into him, not caring if anyone saw them together. She could be dead, again, tomorrow; there was no time to waste on propriety. "You, me, naked and engaged in strenuous activities, order some take out, and then more strenuous activity. You game?"

He laughed, "Always so blunt," he murmured, and pulled her into a doorway, and smiled down at the question she posed in the confused look on her face, "My place."

"Oh," she replied, and her fingers got to work as he uncoded the door. He swept her up in his arms as soon as the door slid open, pressing open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and throat as he carried her back to the bedroom. He set her back on her feet and she tugged his shirt over his head, and pressed her palms to his chest, licking her lips, "You've been busy," she murmured appreciatively.

"I had some time on my hands," he replied, and snuck his own hands under her shirt.

She moaned softly as his hands cupped her breasts, and his mouth skimmed over her shoulder, "You, ah, made good use of it," she breathed, and lifted her arms as he pulled her shirt off.

"Mmhmm," he replied, and made short work of her bra. He bent his head to take one puckered nipple between his lips, gently laving it with his tongue. He heard her sigh as her hands fisted in his hair, urging him closer. He repeated the attention on the other breast, his hands sneaking down to the clasp of her belt, quickly ridding her of her pants as she toed off her boots.

He smiled against her skin as she was standing before him, naked save for a pair of socks, a spacer to her core. A sensual smile curved her lips, and she reached for him, pulling him closer. Her hands drifted down to the waist of his pants, and she gently tugged them open, and he groaned as her hand wrapped around him.

He toed off his own boots, and his pants fell around his ankles as he stepped forward, his hands at her hips, walking her back towards the bed. She shifted suddenly, and pushed him back on the bed, and crawled after him, pressing a line of kisses starting at his knee, trailing up his inner thigh, her hot tongue swirling over his sensitive skin. "Shepard," he groaned as her mouth closed over his smooth head, her lips gliding up and down his length.

He swallowed a groan as she licked him from base to tip, and he buried a hand in her soft hair, tugging gently. She pressed a hot kiss to the silky head, and continued her way up his torso, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses in her wake. "Now?" she murmured softly, her hips positioned just above his, and he closed his eyes as he slid between her wet lips.

His response was a sharp thrust of his hips, and his hands pulling her so he was seated within her. She gasped at the sensation of his sudden invasion, and her back arched of it's own accord as he smirked at her, and pumped his hips up to meet hers again. She licked her lips, and gave him a knowing smile as she rocked her hips against him, and they both moaned as she moved, meeting his everything thrust, her slick sheathe tightening around him as she rode him.

She gasped out his name as her orgasm burst through her, felt his grip tighten on her waist as he uttered a harsh shout and followed after her.

She slumped forward to sprawl across his chest, her lips skimming along his jaw. "I love you, Kaidan Alenko," she murmured softly, and felt his arms squeeze her in a gentle embrace.

"I love you, too," he breathed, and caught her lips in a gentle kiss.

She sighed, and studied him as she pulled away from him, taking in his dark brown eyes, olive skin, salt and pepper curls, his sensuous smile, and willed her brain to imprint him as he was in this moment for the rest of her life, how ever long it may be. "We're going through the relay soon," she mumbled softly, and turned her head away from him.

"Does it make me a horrible person that as much as I wish you were coming with me, that I'm thankful you're staying here, safe?" she muttered, and scrubbed her hands over her face.

"Hey," he murmured, and pulled her back, tucked in close to his side where she belonged, "I'm just glad you're here, right now. With me."

She nodded and curled into his side, his calloused palm gently stroking her back. They dozed together, each content with just being together, neither willing to break the spell that had fallen over them. She grimaced when her stomach growled loudly, and she felt his side shake as he suppressed a laugh. "On to ordering take out, then?" he teased gently, and she scowled at him. He just laughed, and sat up, his omni-tool flickering to life as he punched in his usual order for take out, and grimaced as he doubled it to feed two hungry biotics. He grumbled to himself at the cost, and gauged the time before he rolled her over onto her back.

He sank into her again with a low groan, and felt her neediness in the clutch of her hands on his shoulders as he thrust into her; their lips crushed together, tongues dancing as they satisfied their need for each other. Sooner than he would have liked, they reached their climax, their moans of pleasure mingling in the air.

"Just in time," she snickered as the tone of the doorbell sounded. "I'd go get it, but I can't seem to find my clothes."

"Just…stay here," he muttered, and snatched a pair of gym shorts off the floor, pulling them on as he headed towards the door. He belatedly realized the delivery kid knew exactly what they had been up to as he stood gaping at him, and he quickly tipped the kid as Shepard's delighted laughter met his ears. He headed back down the hall, and handed her a take out box and a pair of chopstick.

"Why do I put up with you," he muttered to himself, shaking his head as she shoveled food into her mouth, and muttered nonsense with her full mouth. She shrugged and grinned at him.

"I keep you on your toes," she decided, and he just shook his head, lapsing into companionable silence as they shared their meal.

She heaved a contented sigh, and set the empty container aside when she had finished. She frowned in annoyance as she heard the beeping of her 'tool. "Goddammit, I told them to contact me only if it was an emergency," she grumbled unhappily, and activated her 'tool.

He watched as the color drained from her face, and he leaned over to read her message. It was from Joker. Collectors had attacked her ship and kidnapped the entire crew.

She burst into action, sending messages to the rest of her squad, demanding they be ready to go in 30 minutes or be left behind. She dressed with the practiced precision of a career soldier, and grabbed him in a searing kiss. "I love you, but I have a job to do."

He nodded in understanding, "I know." He walked her to the door, and wrapped her in a tight hug, trying to imprint her scent once more in his mind. "Be careful out there, Commander."

She nodded, and he saw the moisture gathering in her eyes, "And Shepard? Thanks. For everything."

She shot him a smile and pressed her lips to his cheek before turning to sprint back the way they had come, with a single backward glance before she disappeared from view. He prayed she'd find her way back to him again, and soon.


	17. Look

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

She wouldn't look him in the eyes, he thought. This wasn't like her, usually she owned her actions, and met any flak she received head on. The woman before him was submitting meekly as Admirals Hackett and Anderson took her into custody.

"Shepard," he said quietly, and she jerked her head towards the sound of his voice as Anderson shared a look with Hackett and left them alone together in the CIC of the Normandy.

He watched her jaw work as she avoided his gaze, and he took a step closer to her, pressing a soft hand to her hip, the other gently gripping her chin and turning her face to his. "Hey," he murmured, "You did best you could."

Her blue eyes finally met his, flashing with anger, "I don't doubt that, Kaidan. But I can still despise myself for wiping out an entire system!" she ground out.

"Your report says you tried to warn them," he replied, and she leaned her face into his palm, wishing they could meet under better circumstances.

"I did, but there was no time," she stepped away from him in frustration, "If only I had been able to wake up sooner or-"

He cut her off with a fierce kiss, his hands clutching her uniform, crushing her closer to him. "Did you give your all?" he asked when he pulled away from her, "Did you give that mission everything you had?"

"Of course I did!" she said furiously, glaring at him.

"Then stop feeling sorry for yourself," he murmured. "You did the best you could."

She leaned into him and nodded, "All right." He gave her shoulders a brief squeeze, "Okay, where am I headed," she mumbled.

"Detention center at Alliance HQ. It's just to keep the batarians from taking a stab at you, you know that, right?" he said as they headed for the airlock.

She shook her head at him, "It's also to keep an eye on me. I'm a loose canon."

He snorted, and gave her one last kiss before the airlock slid open and they could join Hackett and Anderson. "That you are. I'll visit when I'm able."

A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips, "I'd like that."


	18. Summer

Disclaimer: Mass Effect doesn't belong to me, nor do I intend to profit from this work of fiction.

* * *

It was summer in Vancouver, and she was stuck in the detention center at Alliance HQ until further notice. She was hoping Kaidan would be able to visit soon; it had been several weeks since she'd last seen him, and damn it, she missed him.

She missed talking to him, arguing with him, teasing him. But she really missed his touch, his hands on her skin, _in her_, driving her wild. She sighed, and glanced towards the locked door of her room. For once, her jailer was absent, but unfortunately that meant her movements were restricted.

She flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Out of habit, she reached to activate her omni-tool, but it wasn't there. They'd taken that away.

She grumbled to herself, and flared out of boredom, forming a ball of dark energy in her hand, distantly thankful that Miranda had given her an integrated amp they hadn't been able to take away for her incarceration.

She manipulated the ball of blue energy between her hands, and not for the first time she considered breaking out, if only to prove she could, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. They'd taken her ship, too, after all.

With a sigh, she let the energy dissipate, and fisted her hands in frustration. Boredom was not her friend. She could practically hear Kaidan's husky laughter in her mind, and she slid her hand down the front of her shorts. She moaned softly as her fingers rubbed against her sensitive nub and slipped against her folds as she remembered his hands in place of her own. She shivered as she remembered his mouth on her, his lips and tongue stroking and sucking, his teeth gently nibbling on her sensitive skin.

She softly sighed his name as her back arched helplessly, and her orgasm crested through her as she continued to stroke herself. She gasped in surprise and sat up as her door hissed open and the object of her imagination stood eyeing her with a knowing expression on his face.

"Kaidan," she murmured as he smiled smugly at her from across the room. She licked her lips as he slowly sauntered across the room, and perched on the bed next to her.

"I had a couple of hours free, so I thought I'd swing by, maybe take you out for a run around the grounds since the Lieutenant was otherwise occupied today." He leaned in to her, his lips just inches away from hers, "But if you're busy…" he breathed, the sultry heat of his voice washing over her.

"Mmm…" she growled, and fisted her hands in his hair, ruthlessly dragging his lips to hers. "Mine," she rasped against his lips.

"This wasn't exactly what I had in mind," he chuckled, tugging her shirt over her head, dropping his lips to trail a line of kisses down her throat to her breasts, making her shiver in anticipation. She felt his hands drift up her spine, releasing the catch of her bra, and sucked in a breath as his lips found a puckered nipple. His teeth scraped gently against the sensitive flesh, and she gasped at the sensation.

He smirked against her skin, and nudged her to lie back on the bed, and hooked a finger under the waist of the soft cotton gym shorts she wore. She lifted her hips in compliance, and he pulled her shorts down her long legs, admiring the subtle curves of her hips, her toned thighs, muscles made hard with exertion and discipline.

"Shepard," he groaned, and slid off the bed, wrapping his arms around her thighs, pulling her to the edge of the bed. She writhed against his touch, and arched her back as he pressed kisses against the smooth skin of her inner thigh. He inhaled her sweet scent just before he licked her, long and slow. He heard her moan as he suckled her sensitive flesh, already moist from her earlier ministrations, and his teeth gently scraped against her clitoris, making her thighs twitch in response, her back arched sharply off the bed, and a mewling gasp to burst from her lips as her climaxed welled up and sent her tumbling over the edge.

He felt her fingers tugging on his salt and pepper curls, and with one last, slow lick, he stood and quickly shed his uniform, before crawling on the bed with her, settling between her legs as she scooted back from the side. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she tugged him closer, "I need you," she murmured against his ear, her teeth clamping down on the sensitive lobe.

He let out a shuddering breath, and poised himself at her slick entrance, pushing in to her with a ragged groan, felt her tight walls pulsing around him. He set a fast tempo, but she met his every thrust, and he could feel her long fingers digging into the flesh of his ass and shoulder, gripping him tighter with each thrust. She gasped out his name, and he grunted against her shoulder as they rode the wave of their orgasm together, her slick sheath spasming around his thick erection as he spent himself within her.

Their breathing slowly returned to normal, and he felt her hands sliding up and down his spine in a soothing motion. "Missed you," she murmured with a sleepy smile. "More than I miss being able to come and go as I please."

He snorted, "I bet." He pressed a lingering kiss to her lips, "I still have some time. Want me to be your escort around the grounds before I have to get back to my duties?"

Her expression brightened, and she shoved him aside, "Oh yeah, I hate being stuck on Earth in the summer, and not being able to spend it outside."

He laughed as he pulled his uniform back on, and raised an eyebrow until she moved to do the same, "It's a little hot out there. But I don't mind spending a little time with you."

She grinned, and smoothed a hand over his shoulders, "Oh good, I just thought you were here for the sex."

He smirked, "Yeah, that doesn't hurt." He waited patiently as she ran a comb through her hair, and smiled up at him, looping an arm through his.

"All right, Commander, let's go take on the world," she said cheerfully before they headed out into the Vancouver summer. For a moment, he thought to correct her, but his promotion was so new, he didn't even have his new insignia on his uniform. He shrugged, she'd find out soon enough.


End file.
